Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Camp (Female)

From NBC's "Camp" (Season 1 Ep 10)

Grace:

Hey, Buzz!  Come cheer for me. (He says no.)  Buzz Granger!  You are the most selfish, myopic, infuriating boy I've ever met!  Do you still have your arms and legs?  Are you in a rock being chased down by a drone?  You live in a postcard!  And there is a cute, high-achieving girl who's doing her very best to be nice to you.  We only have 24 hours left and I'm trying to spend them with you, because  for reasons that I don't fully understand, I like you.  Like, like like you.  Now...give me a kiss for luck.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Private Practice (Female)

Addison:

Woah, woah, woah!  Hold on a minute.  I have been working here less than twenty-four hours, and in that time, I have discovered that I'm not welcome here, I learned that I am a one-man gynee show, and I performed crazy MacGuyver surgery, and Sam saw my booty. So, this has not been a great day for me.  This day kinda sucked. But you know what?  I had one patient. One patient, the entire day, and I loved it. So you want me gone? Too bad! I'm in! I'm putting my foot down!  My foot's down. It's down- I'm not going anywhere. So...yeah. Ok, I...thought I had a big finish, but...I don't, so...I'm done. (Pause) No, no, I do have a big finish. If I hadn't been here today, if you'd had someone else, that girl would have died delivering her baby. I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world-class neo-natal surgeon. And I'm here to stay. Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Forced Marriage (Female)


THE FORCED MARRIAGE- Moliere

Dorimene

Over-joyed, I swear.  Until now my father has always held me in check.  He’s the world’s worst tyrant.  I’ve been raging to break away from him, so that I could go my own way, even if it meant getting married.  Praise God you came along, and now I’m ready to make up for lost time.  You’re a man of the world; you know all about the fashionable life, so you won’t be one of those narrow-minded husbands who want their wives to live shut up like bears in a cave.  I could never face that.  I hate being a long.  I like games, visits, gatherings, open-air parties, and going out for drives.  I adore every kind of pleasure.  Think yourself lucky to have married a lady like me.  We’ll never quarrel.  I won’t check up on your activities, just as I’m sure you won’t check up on mine.  I believe that married partners should tolerate, not torment, each other.  We’ll have our own lives and our own friends, with not a breath of suspicion between us.  I’ll expect you to trust me, just as I expect to trust you.  What’s wrong?  All of a sudden your face has gone pale.      

The Jealous Husband (Female)


THE JEALOUS HUSBAND- Moliere

Angelique

What’s this?  The door is locked.  Open up and let me in!  Why are you complaining that I’m on my own?  You shout at me when I have company.  What am I supposed to do?  You won’t open the door for me?  Please, my darling, I beg of you.  Open up, my sweet, and let me in.  Let me come in, please.  Then you absolutely won’t let me in?  You have no pity for the wife who loves you so madly?  If you drive me too far, I’ll lose my temper and do something you’ll be sorry for.  If you don’t open up this door right away, I’ll kill myself in front of it.  My father always comes past on his way home at night, to see if we’re all right.  He’ll find me lying here.  And you’ll be hung.  You don’t believe me?  Look, I have a knife here, ready.  If you don’t let me in, I’ll plunge it into my heart.  Will you let me in?  Then, farewell- (pretends to stab herself.) Ah, I am dying! 

Two Precious Maidens Ridiculed (Female)


TWO PRECIOUS MAIDENS RIDICULED- Moliere

Cathos

How can we welcome men who have only the crudest idea of gallantry?  I’d wager that they have never seen the Map of the Love-scape; they are quite unfamiliar with such place-names as Love-letters, Tiny-attentions, Gallant-words, and Pretty-poems.  Their very appearance lacks that gracious air that impresses people.  Coming to court us without a ribbon on their claves or a plume in their hats!  Without touching up their hair after they walk in!  And wearing clothes with not a single decoration on them!  Good high heaven, what sort of lovers are they!  With their drab outfits and dreary conversation, we couldn’t possibly have gone any farther with them.  Their shirtfronts come from the wrong tailor and their breeches are six noticeable inches too narrow.  All I can say to you, Uncle, is that I consider marriage quite distasteful.  How can one support the thought of lying beside a man who is literally naked? 

Blind Date (2) (Female)


BLIND DATE by Horton Foote

Dolores

Now, let’s practise.  I’ll be Felix.  Now.  Hello, Sarah Nancy.  Now, what do you say Sarah Nancy.  About what?  About what you say when someone says hello to you Sarah Nancy.  Now, let’s start again.  Hello, Sarah Nancy.  Honey, don’t just say hello and above all don’t scowl and say hello.  Smile.  Hello, how very nice to see you.  Let me feel your warmth.  Now, will you remember that?  Of course you will.  All right let’s start on our questions.  Begin with your first question.  I’m waiting honey.  Well, don’t be discouraged.  Anyway, you’re not supposed to comment when he answers the questions, you’re just supposed to sit back and listen to the answers as if you’re fascinated and find it all very interesting.  Why?  Because that’s how you entertain young men, graciously.  You make them feel you are interested in whatever they have to say.  Well, it’s not important if you are or not, you are supposed to makes them think you are.

Blind Date (Female)


BLIND DATE by Horton Foote

Dolores

What are you doing out here, Sarah Nancy?  You cannot listen to the radio.  You can be seen from the street if you sit in this room listening to the radio.  I told that boy you were mortally ill with a sick headache and you cannot appear five minutes later perfectly well and sit in the living room and listen to the radio.  You will not hear Rudy Vallee and run the risk of someone seeing you and telling Felix about it.  What possesses you?  I ask two lovely young men over last week and you refuse to speak to either of them all evening.  I ask this sweet, charming boy over tonight and you walk out of the room while he is saying the books of the Bible.  Well, I tell you one thing, I will not ask another single boy over here again until you decide to be gracious as any girl here.  Anyone with the lovely Mother you have can certainly be gracious.  

(This was an extended realism piece I did and thought I'd share it.)